Got this from Celyn.
This is like, so funny debba. All the coņos out there are like, so stupid debba. I want to, like, sampal them in the mukha, debba. LOL. =))
Reposted from
http://digitalpinoy.multiply.com/journal/item/1574?mark_read=digitalpinoy:journal:1574&goto=0#reply0> There was this rich girl who wasn't used to commuting. One day, she was going someplace near and was forced to ride a jeep. When she was already at the place she was supposed to get off, this is what she said: "Mama, at the corner, para."
> One guy was buying ham from Excellente in Quiapo and instructed how he wants his ham done. "Pare, don't take the 'jamon' out too early. I want my 'jamon' tostado, pare."
> One girl with her slow maid: I'm going to make pokpok your hhheaaaadddddd...
> During the EB in Tito Tito's, someone said: "Sir, may I be excused? I have poo-poo under my shoe!" and "Hey! Did you cut your buhok?"
> Aside from the infamous tusok-tusok. "I don't like the fish balls. They're not lutong yet."
> "Can you make bantay my things?"; "Sige surely. I'll make bantay your things. Sorry na lang if it gets wala ha."
> Another jeepney quote. "Stop lang please. Stop!"
> My 8-yr old brother at a wake we attend: "Ano ba kayo. You're making me tawa naman e!!! "Ma, when I die, I want to be burol-ed here!"
> In a long line. "Mommy, I'll make pila na 'coz it's mahaba super"
> Kadiri!!! Yucky ha! You're actually making kagat the freaking dila of a watchmacallit?" (Referring to lengua.)
> "Hey Manong Driver, can you just make potpot na the car, Manang is to tagal to make run eh."
> "Grabe!!! Have you seen na *movie*? It's so kaka-cry. I think I made iyak a gallon of tears when I was watching."
> "Arghh. Grabe it's so init! Like being made sunog in a microwave! Manang, can you make me paypay before I get himatay on the yucky ground? Please."
> This one is about this mother who wants to BE coņo...but fails miserably!!
SETTING: McDonalds Katipunan
The mother was telling her son not to go to the play area since she was in a hurry. But her son still went and a while later came back crying since he fell or hit his head or something.
Then the mother goes (in a very coņo accent), "Told you not to go to, you go to, Look at!!"
(Obviously she wanted to say: "Sabi na ngang huwag kang pumunta dun, pumunta ka pa, tingnan mo anong nangyari")
> "Will I see you LATER MAMAYA?"
> Sa laboratory. He goes, "Fire fire! Buhusan mo ng water!"
> Sa Hard Rock may mga Burgis na nakikipag sayaw sa mga Girls.
Boy1: Hey Dude! your sweating na, wala ka bang panyo?"
Boy2: Dude! borrow naman ng keys, naiwan ko kse sa CAR yung HUNKY ko eh! (Utang na Loob!!!!)
> Sabi nung isang Prof "Ok class, let's form a straight circle."
> Drafting teacher in high school, pinagagalitan dalawang students:
"Because of what you did, I want to see your parents tomorrow - RIGHT NOW!" (Kelan ba talaga?)
> Asking us to do a test ourselves: "Ok class, SELF YOUR TEST." (Ano daw? Not really coņo pero I didn't expect those from a teacher.)
> Grabe! You guys are so kakatawa naman! Don't be like that na noh, or my stomach will make sakit na even more pa!!!
> Weather is bad one Friday morning: "Anak, call your elementary, ask if you have pasok!"
> How cute naman is the aso!
> What about this... "Yuck naman, how baboy the pig!!!"
> Conyo sa saleslady... "Miss, magkano this?"
> "Yuck! that's mabaho! I'm gonna suka if I smell that again!
> "Got to go, my driver's making potpot na!"
> "Hurry, ha. baka naman i'll make-bulok there!" (di na lang nya diniretsong tagalog!)
> Wow pare! Nice chick pare! I bet pare she's from Lasalle pare, kase pare! She was wearing green pare. Then the guy replied, "Pare i dunno pare, let's just stay cool pare." sagot naman uli si OGAG, "yah pare, i'll try to impress her pare, watch me pare!" then sagot si #2 "Yosi pare." ? (Ang daming pare.)
> Student reporting in front of claas on a province assigned by the prof. Reading the web-lifted literature, "So, the Ilocanos are famous for their tobacco plantations." Then attempts to explain, "So parang, debba? Ang job nila e mag-plant ng tobacco, yah, it's like that naman debba?" (UTANG NG LOOB! and she's taking LIACOM (Literature & Accounting)? DEBBA?)
> "Oh my God, there's a floating jebs (crap) in the anidoro!"
> Don't u have CaliforNIAcation by that Red Hot Silly People?
> F*ck pare. This morning, I was at Greenhills right? I saw this F*cking girl driving this F*cking wheels pare. She's so F*cking cute but, she's not alone, pare. May kasama kasi siyang guy, F*ck talaga." (YUN LANG ANG ALAM NYANG ENGLISH WORD SIGURO.)
> Here are some lines that made me laugh so hard: "Hey guess what! I went to Ever G kanina!" (Ever Gotesco is what that person meant)
> "Grabe, gusto ko nang mag-go home!"
> "Where did my driver go?! Kainis naman! Why did have to go paikot-ikot pa?!"
> "Help! I can't breathe! I'm sophisticating in here!"
> I had a teacher who got pissed-off on us when we were still in high school. He told us: "Ano ba kayo? Simple follow cannot instructions!"
> Unloading the baggage to the pushcart. "Ay yung isa pang package," Si asawa naman kinuha sa labas ng bus. Tapos biglang hirit si misis, "Ilagay mo nalang siya dyan sa down."
> Pa-coņo wife in the labor room, "HELLO everyone, I'm in PAIN here. Hello. Like duh! I'm in great pain here?" (So inulit lang?!)
> I guess 1 day this girl's driver wasn't there to pick her up on time. So she told her friend this, "You make para-para the jeep na so we can go home already."
> "Hoy miss, alis ka dyan sa kalsada! Muntik na kitang mabangga, ah!"; "It's your fault naman driver, eh. You don't make potpot!"
> Overheard at Barney's New York (A place where everything they sell is what I want but can't afford):
Miss conio girl #1: Gosh, you have to make tingin at the really cute bag doon. It's so ganda! I have to get that for my barkada. She's going to go loko"
Miss conio girl #2: Yah.. Grabe no? I wish mommy didn't make putol my credit card. I'll make bili na that bag sana. I like it too eh. Hay naku, I have to like hintay for next month to get my baon. Kaasar!"
> Overheard: "Ay, my phone's not double band kasi eh" (Neng, dual yon!)
> "Wow, that looks so maganda on you! Seriously, totoo nga, napakabonggacious ever"
> "How is you?"
> A high school student, went to the college chapel. There was this girl that approached him?
The girl asks:"Excuse me, do you know where the *name of school building* is? The student answered back, *kinda didn't know what to do and what to say*: "Sorry, I am not here." The girl just nodded and politely said "Thanks anyway."
> The 2nd year highschool students on their reaction about the Moffats:
Student 1: Grabeeeeee! Moffats are so very cute! Especially the bass guy!!!
Student 2: As if naman! Mas cuter si naglalaro ng piano!!!
Student 3: Did you watched the concert? They're so grabeee! Nakakainlove!!
> EXCLUSIVE SCHOOL FOR GIRLS:
Teacher:? Please get one whole sheet of bond paper. Take note that I don't want to see any kind of erasure.
Student: Miss pwede liquid paper na lang?
Teacher: I said bond paper!
Subject: Conyo Crap 
